Beach, Bikini, and Bronchitis

We just returned from our second summer family vacation.  One of the benefits of teaching is definitely the months of June and July!  Our first vacation was in June to North Myrtle Beach with friends.  We had a blast!  Our second vacation was with Dereck's family to see his cousin Jason who lives just three miles from Topsail, NC.  Peyton and I did this trip two years ago sans Dereck.  This year we were fortunate enough to have him join us.  We had such a wonderful time.

On the trip there, Peyton began running a fever, which was the start to her "beach bronchitis."  I must say that the saltwater is excellent for cleaning out phlegm.  Despite the bronchitis, Peyton learned to swim on this trip!  Coming from this swimmer mama, I was extremely proud!  She put her head right down and started swimming, without any floaties, etc.  I was four years old when I swam in my first swim meet, so it must be the age to take off! Needless to say, she had the best time and rarely left the water, wearing me, her dad, and all her cousins slap out!

Thanks to the urging of my friend, Sarah Holbrooks, I wore a bikini on the beach for the first time in 5 years.  Ugh...can't say it was pretty, but it sure felt nice to get some sun on my belly again.  I debated on whether or not to do it, but then I realized what does it really matter?  I have no one to impress and I was certainly not the worst looking woman on the beach!  Soooo...Peyton took a huge step in learning how to swim and I took a huge step in learning not to worry about looks and perfection.  We relaxed, we swam, and enjoyed some much needed family time.

I am always amazed at the beach.  God's beauty surrounds me and consumes me in a way that I'm not always able to find in the mountains.  I'm a water girl and I find such beauty and awe in water that looks as if it meets the sky.  On our last day at Topsail, Dereck, Peyton and I headed to the beach alone (I guess Peyton wore everyone else out!).  We realized it was one of the few times just the three of us spent the day at the beach together.  We ate slushies, laid out in the sun, swam, swam, swam some more, and walked on the beach.  It was a simple time, but one I'll certainly never forget.  Jobs are stressful and consuming, marriage is hard, parenting is trying, but that day was simply memorable.  It's the kind of day I hope my child will always think back on when she is older.  I want her to have family memories to carry with her always.  Below are a few pictures from our trip...you can see much more on my facebook page.  We were fortunate enough to go to Camp Lejeune Marine Base (Jason's place of work) to watch the fireworks show.  Wow!  What a show they do.  The look on the faces in this pic explains that!

Despite the bronchitis, this was the expression on Peyton's face for 99.8% of our trip:

This is my favorite thing to look down in the sand and see:

Peyton tried her hand at fishing:

Result of fishing = she's just like her mom and much too impatient to wait on some dumb fish and would just rather swim!
Now we're back to home sweet home, but the vacation blues are setting in.  We have already started planning what we're going to do next summer!
We can't wait!

Moms

With Mother's Day fast approaching, my mind is on mamas.  Of course I have a new respect for moms out there, since becoming one myself almost 4 years ago, but I've always has a huge respect for women who hold this title and take it seriously.  A few weeks ago, Peyton was sick and she had me a little more worried than normal due to some symptoms she'd never experienced.  Strangely, the first thing I did was call my mom.  Not the doctor, my mom (ok, she's a doctor too, but not of the medical kind!).  After I hung up the phone, I had the awful thought, "What will I do when I can't pick up the phone and call her when Peyton is sick?"  Peyton has diarrhea: call mom.  Peyton is running a super high fever: call mom.  Peyton is having nightmares: call mom.  It's what I do.  It's who I am.  A mama's girl.  Always have been.  Often her answer is to simply "Call the doctor."  Duh.  Of course I should do that if I'm worried about my child.  But still, he's not the first I call.  I call mom. 

Being the youngest, and only girl, in my family I grew up with a special bond with my mother and it's never gone away.  Can she annoy me like no other?  Yep.  When my brothers and I are all together you can bet that somehow we will end up discussing "mom's quirks."  But do we love her?  Yep.  Do we respect her?  Yep.  I keep thinking of sayings and inside jokes and things that won't be the same when mom is not around.  Sometimes she's the only one who gets them! 

My prayer for Peyton is that she and I will always have that bond as well.  She is a big time daddy's girl right now.  But she and I have a girl bond that Daddy just doesn't quite understand.  He's not allowed into that corner of our world. 

I am at the age where many of my friends no longer have their mothers.  I just can't simply imagine.  I love that Peyton has my mom.  They have such a strong bond, as my mom was her babysitter the first year of her life.  I still remember the day I went to pick her up and she was more content to be with her Mimi than her mom.  Surprisingly, I wasn't bothered by that. 

I will end this with some specific things in which I am thankful for my mom for giving me, in no specific order:

*a love of Christ and the bible, although it took me a while to get there
*a sense of humor, albeit an odd one at times :)
*a desire to be as educated as possible
*compassion
*a love of Paris (nope, mine is not as strong as hers, and probably never will be, but seeing that Eiffel Tower sure can make me yearn!)
*a love of travelling and a desire for learning new things

I guess the list could be much longer, but these are the things that stick out most right now. 

Education and Degrees

If you know me at all, you know I value an education.  Coming from my family it would be hard not to value it.  My parents both got college educations, my mom all the way to her doctorate.  My dad faced incredible odds moving from NY to GA to attend UGA.  My grandfather, on my mother's side, was the department head of Sociology at UGA.  My mother was a teacher and now I am too. 

To say it was easy for me to get a college degree would be a total lie.  First of all,  I didn't know what I wanted to do in life so I dropped out and didn't return for 2 years.  Once I made the decision, I attended WCU and the education program was not easy.  Fun, yes.  Easy, no.  However, I was able to maintain a 3.8 GPA and graduate Cum Laude.

I guess all of this is on my mind because it seems to be the topic of conversation in my home a lot lately.  I am headed back to good ol' WCU in the fall to pursue my Masters degree in Special Education with a concentration in severe disabilities.  After earning his Associate's degree at Southwestern, Dereck is finishing his Bachelor's in Criminal Justice at WCU, and maintaining an incredible GPA (I didn't know he was capable, hahaha!).  A lot of his time and hard work is spent on the computer typing papers, researching, etc.  I don't think he would say it was easy either.  However, when I first met him, he was one of these, "I don't need an education to prove I'm good at my job."  Now, after many hard hours of school work, he now sees that an education is about bettering oneself, not proving anything.  I would say it's safe to say that we hope Peyton will certainly choose higher education for her life as well and we put aside money every month in order for her to do so, since getting an education seems to get pricier every year.

The one thing Dereck and I are seeing more and more of is that most of the unedcated people in our lives, just don't seem to get it.  Dereck can really see this since he used to be one of them himself.  He asked me when we got married if it bothered me that he didn't at least have his Bachelor's degree.  My honest answer was, "Yes.  But not to the extent that I wouldn't marry you."  I am incredibly proud of him for returning to school when he was ready to put the time and effort into it.  Anyone who knew him fresh out of high school knows he certainly didn't put much effort into it then!  :)  People constantly ask us why we're going back to school at a time when our daughter is young, the cost is high, and Dereck is in a job where he doesn't necessarily get more money for more education.  We know that we don't need an education to prove to the world we can do something.  We know we don't need one to prove to the world we can write papers and stay up all night studying.  But we do know that we truly value it and can better ourselves, at work and home, by gaining higher education.  This is something most people don't understand until they go through it themselves.  I'm not sure if it's jealousy, intimidation, or something else.  I certainly don't mean for anyone to feel intimidated or jealous of me for a degree in which I chose to work for.  I'm sure Dereck would say the same.  I certainly do expect people to respect my degree and the hard work I put into it.  It's not something I take lightly.  I was incredibly fortunate to have parents who supported my education and did everything they could to help me, including no school loans!  Yay! 

My mom once told me (one night when I was in college and was stressed to the max and crying) that I would never regret getting an education because it's the one thing NO ONE can EVER take away from me.  It's true.  I can lose my car, my house, my possessions, even my job, but I can't lose that degree.  Thank goodness!

The Question We're Asked All the Time

Here it is...the question that haunts us everywhere we go: "When are you going to have another one?"  In the past I have given different answers to this question.  Now, I simply want to say to them, "None of your business. And what's wrong with just having one?"  Beginning this time last year, my beloved doctor that delivered Peyton moved away.  Before he left he referred me to the best of the best fertility doctors in Asheville.  So began a long, haunting ordeal.  Driving an hour plus at least twice a month, extensive ultrasounds, IUI's, and lots and lots of money spent.  Did it pay off?  Nope.  However, God revealed to me some amazing things during this callenging time. 

First of all, Dereck and I are blessed to have a healthy, happy, incredibly active, and fun child.  So what if she's our only one?  There are many advantages to having only one child.  I grew up in a rather large family, and while I love it, I look forward to being able to give my one child all of myself.  No competing for time (Dereck goes to one sporting event while I go to the other, etc.), no two college tuitions to pay for at the same time, no car to share with a sibling, to name a few. 

This day in time, it seems as if everything is made for a family of four.  But what is wrong with a family of 3?  And do I really want to go back to that baby stage?  The bottles, the breastfeeding, the super lack of sleep, unsoothable crying, colic, etc.?  Ummmm, I know it's all worth it, but yuck.  I enjoy the fact that we are over that stage.  While every age brings new and different challenges, it also brings about independence, which we are truly enjoying. 

I also question even having children this day and time.  I look at the world around me, especially being a school teacher, and I'm frightened.  It's hard raising a christian child this day and age.  As I've said before, I'm a perfectionist (thanks to my mother) and I'm not going to half parent.  If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability.  No halfing it.  I look at a lot of mothers around me who can't handle the ones they have, yet they're having another one and another one and another one...I could certainly go into what is causing our nation to go into such debt with people like this who are eating up WIC and such, but I'll save it for my personal thoughts!  :) 

Through much prayer, I'm not sure I'm meant to be a parent to more than one.   I'm not sure I have the patience, the work ethic, or the desire.  Do I miss that cuddly little baby?  Sure, I do...at times.  But having a baby is not all snuggles and cuddles and sweet times.  It's a lot of poop, crying, nerve wearing moments. 

God has also shown me that my marriage and my life need to be stronger and better if we are going to bring another child into this world.  (Good) Marriages take a lot of work.  Again, I'm a perfectionist and I'm not going to half way do that either.  If I'm gonna be a wife, I'm gonna be a darn good one.  God has also shown me that one of my talents is loving my students.  Becoming a mother has certainly made me a better teacher.  I try to care for my "school babies" as I would care for my own.  This takes a lot of hard work and constant prayer, but it's a gift from God and he gives me the ability to accomplish it. 

So, are we done?  Yes, for now.  Until God wants us to have another one.  If He chooses that for us then so be it.  We'll take the challenge willingly and happily.  But if He chooses not to?  That's fine with this mama.   I am so thankful to have a healthy, happy child who adores spending time with her parents.  Being a family of 3 is incredibly special.  I'm content to enjoy these moments to the absolute extent possible. 

Parenting: Hardest Job in the World???

I have been reading a lot of blogs, articles, and facebook posts related to parenting and it got me thinking: Is parenting the hardest job in the world?  I often hear people say it is.  But then I often hear others say it's a blessing and fun and comes naturally and so on.  Yes, I agree; with both.  Being a parent to Peyton is certainly my greatest blessing.  It is also a load of fun!  Some times it comes naturally.  Other times I find myself calling my own parents, calling one of my brothers, or even facebooking, for advice.  I've even turned to books, magazine articles, and our amazing pediatrician for advice on certain parenting topics.  I open my bible every evening and read, followed by hitting my knees begging for God's advice and guidance in parenting. 

Soooo, God is certainly teaching me about this tough job.  First of all, I believe it is so tough simply because I am trying so hard to do it right.  Being a slight perfectionist (thanks, Mom) I am so worried to get it wrong.  Plus, this is someone's life!  What I do and how I do it will affect Peyton.  I won't get the chance to redo this.  I've got to get it right.  Right?  Well, I've certainly not done it all right up to this point.  But I am learning from the things I've done wrong and adjusting my parenting ways. 

I believe that parents trying to raise their kids "right" have it the toughest.  Did I just say that?  Is there a "right" way to raise kids versus a wrong way?  Yep.  I do believe so.  Manners must be taught.  Respect, for yourself and others, must be taught.  And above all else, in my house, a love of Christ must be shown and taught.  My hardest moments in parenting come when I am desperately trying to teach Peyton the "right" thing to do.  I now understand the whole "this hurts me more than it hurts you" theory when it comes to spanking!  Sure, it would be easy to sit back and not worry about what she's getting into, what words come out of her mouth, what she watches on tv, who her friends are, and the respect she shows towards herself and others, etc.  Sure, it would be easier to put her to bed without reading her scripture every night, saying a prayer, and discussing our day.  It would sure give me more time to read and have some quiet time to myself! 

But, I didn't take this job on to take the easy way out.  It is my desire to raise Peyton the way I am doing so.  So I will continue to take the hard road and endure this job declared as the most difficult.  I try to enjoy each moment, as I know I will one day miss this, but let's face it, some moments are just downright tough and not so enjoyable.  It sounds harsh, but it's the truth.  But let me end with a positive note and list my most favorite, enjoyable moments that make this difficult job so incredibly worth it:
1) the little wet, sloppy kisses I receive on a daily basis.
2) the words "I love you, Mama" I hear on a daily basis.
3) that look of "come help me Mama, you can do anything!"
4) the sound of hysterical laughter from a 3 year old, I promise that's the sweetest sound in the world!
5) and my most favorite right now: seeing my hard work pay off when Peyton rewards me with her "right" behavior!

Uh-oh! Family Pictures!

Oh joy.  Family pictures.  What a headache of an experience, right?  Actually, this one went fairly well.  It was completely unplanned and spur of the moment.  No one wanted to do it but me and my fantastic, incredibly talented photographer (who, may I say, came over to my parent's home spur of the moment!).  But, we somehow made it work and enjoyed lots of laughs in our sweats and comfy, non-picture type attire.  Heck, it's who we are.  We'd look silly all decked out in dressy clothes.  So, this was the Wilson family photo shoot.  Feel free to go on my facebook to see all the pictures.  I'm just posting a few on here.  Notice Dereck was the ONLY one not in them.  Hmmm...wonder where he was.  Read yesterday's blog to find out! 

Here are the 2 reasons I wanted these pictures:  Mom & Dad

Wow!  What a big family!

This would have been easier, but not as much fun, without all the men making joke, after joke, after joke!

See?  Easier when the men are away :)

                                          All of the men (with Greg rockin' it in a "Lady Wildcats" sweatsuit!)

Mimi & Papa with all their grandkids (thus far!).

And this is about as good as it gets!  Love the house in the background!

I won't name our photographer, as she has asked me not to.  However, she is a long time family friend and so incredibly talented.  I'm thankful for her and her willingness to come over and photograph this wild bunch on such short notice.  She did an incredible job!  Also, I'm thankful for my family, as strange as we can sometimes be!  But they're my family and I certainly wouldn't be who I am without each one of them.  Last, but not least, I am so thankful that Peyton is getting to experience being raised in such a big family with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents that give her lots of love, support and a love of Christ.

A Teacher & A Cop...Perfect Life??? Ummm...Not Exactly

One of the hardest things about my daily life is the persona it seems to have.  When people find out I'm a teacher, the first thing they ask is, "What do you teach?"  When I reply with "EC, also known as Special Education," their reply is always the same, "Oh wow.  You must have a heart of gold and incredible patience."  Well....not exactly.  I'd like to.  I strive to and pray about that a lot!  When asked what my husband does, people often reply with the same type of answer. "Wow.  He must be such a wonderful man.  That's such a hard job to have these days."  When people meet us together, which is rare due to the amount of time we actually have together, we often receive comments such as, "What noble professions you both have.   How wonderful!  I bet that makes for such a wonderful life." Well....not really.  First of all, we both have chosen careers that are mega underpaid, but that's a whole separate blog one day. :)  We have also chosen careers that don't allow us to see a whole lot of each other.  Dereck works 12 hour night shifts.  I work 8+ hour day shifts.  We do this right now because it's what works best for Peyton at this point in her life.  However, Peyton and I are often faced to spend holidays without Dereck, which is incredibly hard for me.  I think that often times we feel that we must live up to this perfect persona of a teacher and a cop life.  There's even a TV show, so I hear (as I don't watch much besides Nick Jr. these days), that is about a teacher and a cop and a fairytale romance between them.  Fairytale???  Hardly.  The hard reality hits me in the face everyday as I pass my husband in our short, small hallway as he is leaving for work while I am just getting home.  Then again in the mornings as I rise and shine to get myself and Peyton ready for school and he is bedding down for the day after working all night.  It's a hard life.  It's a life of a lot of sacrifices.  I'd like to complain about it, but there's not a whole lot I can truly complain about. I love my job.  My students are amazing and always somehow end up teaching me more every year than I have taught them (ironic, right?).  They are more fun than I ever imagined and I get to laugh (a lot) every day!  And to think...the state pays me for this!!!  Not a lot, but it's still money to have fun while working.  Dereck loves his job as well.  He's really good at it.  God has allowed us two careers in which we wake up (albeit at different times of the day) excited to go to work.  We are actually doing what He has made us to do.  I'd say there are not many people in this world who get to say that everyday.  And with that has brought me incredible closeness to God.  He reels me in each day as I pray for my students in my car on the way to work.  He reveals to me all day long with each laugh and surprise my students give me that this is where I'm supposed to be.  Would I rather be home with Peyton everyday, being a stay at home mom?  I sure would.  However, God does not want that for me right now.  I have to be at peace with that and I'm slowly learning to.  And as for that fairytale, perfect life???  It doesn't exist.  God has also revealed that to me.  Life is what it is and I have to make the best of what I've been handed.  Through a close relationship with Christ, I am able to do that.